"You know what?!" your mother screams, chasing you into the corner where the door to your room was, your own courage to stand up to her faltering, "If I EVER, EVER kill myself, Know that it is because of you." The words shooting through your heart. Tears filled your eyes. But still you showed no emotion. you can't let her win.
Your knees buckle, you feel ten pounds added to your shoulders and you just stare at the angry woman before you. Your mother just found out about your depression and refuses to believe that it is real, It is just a part of life she says, all teens feel that way your parents say. But no they do not believe you. Every time you try to come out to them you get the short end of the stick, and right in trouble. Its like they dont want to hear. They want to think your ok. When you honestly fucking feel like the world is crashing down on you and honestly you are ready to be put six feet under. This is one of the times you've tried to tell your mother about whats going on in your head. She had found out earlier that you had cut, she had seen the fine lines in your wrists and turned angry, angrier than before.
"Go to your fucking room. I dont want to look at you" she sneers, leaving you in the hallway to your room, The hallway loosing the light it once had, Taking with it the happiness you once had also, once your in your room and shut the door, your knees finally buckle and you sink to the floor, your will to hold on snapping. Tears flowing down your face. You lay there. Praying, No, Begging for God to take you, save you from this suffering. But like the other times, you lived. Got back up, and into the shower you went.
The warm water made your fresher scars throb, and you let out a sob. Maybe you deserve this? You think. But no you don't. somewhere deep inside you know you don't. But for some reason it just keeps happening. You just keep suffering. They seem to like it. You try to be good. You really do. But its never enough. The things you do are never enough.
But let me assure you. You are needed. You are loved. You are enough. You are full of worth. Dont let the people bringing you down make you depressed. I love you. We love you. You are beautiful in EVERY way and do not let any ass whole make you think otherwise. Dont let those ass wholes see that they are hurting you. Keep your head up. It will pay off. Iw will. Eventually there is light at the end of the tunnel that you can reach. Their will be people that fucking adore you and see no flaws in you. fore you are PERFECT. If anyone reading this ever has thoughts of killing themselves or harming themselves PLEASE contact me. You are doing the best you can. And one day all this suffering that you will endure. all this harassment from students, friends, and family will only make you stronger I wish someone would say these words to me. Make me feel full of worth. But now I see that I have wonderful people that love me. Cherish me. FOR WHO I AM. I am thankful for Amber who I can always go to, for always being there for me, never letting me feel like the shit all the others have been telling me since day one that I am. and I am thankful that I have her as a bestfriend.
I love you
You are good enough. You are perfect. Dont forget that. Dont let those bastards win